Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
