you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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