I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This is the high leading the old right now
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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