The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
