She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
