Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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