I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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