Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
