dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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