I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
