so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
