What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
