He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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