Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We need a shit load of segways right now
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
