My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
