In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
