i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
