I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
sex in a hospital.. check
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
