wake up i wanna do it froggy style
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
