Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
