Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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