i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize