i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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