remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
