What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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