We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
