i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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