Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
