too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
