just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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