You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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