yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
