I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
