My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Quick, to the slutcave!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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