We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
