I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
