Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Boobs are out for the taking
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
