question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize