BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
