Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
