yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
