We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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