Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
