Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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