I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
