I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
