Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
