she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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