I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
