no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
