Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
