You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
