Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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