She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
